Этот материал открывает цикл статей, в которых будут приводиться материалы по игре Grand Theft Auto IV (GTA IV), в основном, отсутствующие в Интернете. Главным образом это будут тексты различных аудиоматериалов (например, радиопередач).
Однако прежде всего прогуляемся в район Бохан, на улицу Joliet Avenue, к квартире главного героя. Напротив нее часто приходят забавные орущие проповедники. Вот тексты некоторых их "лекций". (Значком [...] показаны места, которые не удалось расшифровать.)
White preacher
***
Hey, hey, hey! I'm speaking to you! I'm talking to you! But it's not me... It is a voice. I heard this voice. I heard it when I was flying. And voices like my voice, except they were saying strange words. And the words... they were beautiful, really beautiful.
It's physics, that's all. It's physics... Biology... doesn't exist. It's a lie. You're a probability wave in space. Ride the wave, you hear me, RIDE THE WAVE! Or you will end up in darkness. I've been there — it's not nice, it's not love! You want love, don't you, LOVE!!!
***
Come on! All of you, come on! It's not too late, You can be saved. The world is not the way it seems. You are tiny rays of light. Don't be rays of darkness! Be a vision of truth! Don't be a walking lie. Be a person of love. Be like a lion, loving its prey[1]. Don't be a... dog, humping[2] society's leg! Which are you: a lion or a dog? I know which I gonna be, I've taken the drugs. I know: I'M A LION, not a dog! I am not and you can't make me be! I... love you. I love yooouuuu!
You call me crazy. You are the crazy ones! You, who hate. I only hate LIES!
***
Hear me when I say this. I have been to the other side. I have been there and it is incredible! They have flying elephants. They have men made of chocolate. They have pizzas as big as this city. They have a prize for the person with the biggest heart, not the biggest wallet!
You think I'm crazy... Well, I am. I LOVE YOU! That makes me crazy? You, who don't even love themselves! You, who live in shame. Oh, you should be ashamed of yourselves!
They are lying to you! The television is a lie, the government is a lie! The government is trying to KILL YOU!! They want to harvest your dead body and turn it into CHE-E-ESE!!! I've been to the factory... I love you... Believe me! I LOVE YOOOUUUU!!!!!
Black preacher
***
Hey you, you, you-you-you-you-you! Hey, listen to me when I'm speaking to you! Listen to the Word! Alright? I'm bringing you the truth. Alright? A message. A message of truth. And the truth is not good. The truth is not good. The truth is... is that you're living in a world o'pain. Yes sir, you're living in a world o'pain. And it only gets worse. Listen here, people. Life... lemme give you a lesson here... life is hell! And that's the good bit. Alright? Now, the bad bit is — you die. And when you die, you get exactly what you deserve. Look, look, lemme go and tell ya, heh, look, I'm pretending here, look, I'm pretending there's gonna be a good time. Uh-uh! Not at all.
Alright, now people listen now here. This is it: now, if you've been good — on Earth — you get obliged[3]. Yeah, yeah, you get extinguished[4] — and forgotten about. But here, now if you've been bad, what they do is they unleash[5] the BEAST upon you. And the BEAST — whooooo! — is not a good thing. When they let that Beast down, it will ride you like a redneck “rats o'fun” animal, and it is not good. The Beast here, the Beast is a problemma. You understand wha'am saying? The Beast is the problem. Listen here, people! Nooooo, you do not, you do NOT want the Beast. No sir. Listen, you've been warned. Alright? You've been warned.
***
Listen! All of you, listen! All of you — listen! I am here to save you. And how do you get saved? By being hideously[6] punished, of course. The only way to be saved is to let me, personally, punish you for a very, very, VERY long time. Half of eternity[7]. You see, you see all that — or you'll get all of eternity, covered in fire and [...], and other bad things. Hey, alright. If that's what you want — that's what you get, okay?
Now, I gave you an option. I gave you all a chance... to be free. So listen here now: you can let me punish you — or you can take your chances in the worst possible thing you can imagine. Alright? Now, those are your options, you've been warned! All... have been warned.
***
You! Hey you! Listen to me! Listen to me, I'm speaking, alright? I'm not messing around[8] here, this message is important! Listen to me — or die... Look at me, LOOK AT ME! YOU! ARE! DOOMED[9]! You're in hell already! Alright? And it only gets worse. It gets much, much worse.
Listen, follow me. I need you to follow me — or die, okay? I'm not messing around here. This is not a year round offer, this is a once in a life time deal! Listen, repent[10] of everything you've ever done right now — or suffer the consequences. The consequences are not good! The consequences are not good, you'll be in hell! And the hell that I put you in is not good at all! Listen to me, look, one chance, and one chance only — follow me now or you will die. You've been warned.
***
Hey! Hey you! You! Yeah, all of you! Look at me when I'm speaking to you, you understand me? You're doomed. You're doomed. You're all doomed! Your life of sin[11] is over. Understand? It's over! (evil laugh)
You have two choices, folks! You have two choices: you can repent and be punished — or you can live waiting for hellfire. You will live waiting for hellfire! Bigboomed in the hellfire! That's wha'am saying to you. Yours is a life of sin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all evil! You seem happy, but happiness... happiness is not of this world. Happiness is of the devil. Happiness is for the weak. See, only the chosen ones suffer.
Listen to me now. Hear me now, hear me now. You're listening? Yeah, I don't mind being a voice in the dark. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I don't mind being a lone voice. In my words, people, in my words — you're doomed! You're all doomed. Now, don't pretend that nobody told you when the fire's coming here down licking at your feet, alright? Don't pretend that, you heard! You're doomed. You're all doomed. You've been warned. All of that! You've been warned.
***
Hey you! You, you, you, come on now! Come on, listen to me, alright? This in here is Hell on Earth, okay? You're not going to hell. You're not GOING to hell, you're LIVING in it!!! Right now! Right here! See? This is your punishment. Living here, on Earth, is your punishment. You can be living with me — in a desert.
Listen, you need a lead. Look, I am a lead. So follow me! Follow me to the far […], alright? That's the way it is and that's the way it's always been, okay? Alright?
Now, don't think that death's gonna let you off. Because if you die, you're gonna get it worse than you've gotten it now. Those of you who will not follow this message here, will suffer the worst. And that means, that means you, you, all of you — you've all been warned.
